Anxiety and Anticipation

"Curtain call in 5 minutes," a voiced yelled in to my room.

My chance, my opportunity was nearing ever so close. This was going to be my chance to prove my mettle. Faces that I wouldn't normally come across will fix their eyes and cast their judgements upon me. I wasn't quite sure what I could expect.

I closed my eyes for a few short seconds, took a deep breath and rose from my chair. I fastened my jacket, inspecting myself in the mirror at the side of the door. In a few moments time I will be leaving this room fully prepared on what I will say, how I will walk and what image of myself I intend to project to the world.

Last-minute nerves began to show through the fidgety nature of my hands. I clenched my fists, took another series of deep breaths and waited for the sound of the buzzer and that red light to switch on.

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She cried. She sat there crying for hours. The depths of her sorrows were unknown but they were present. She had struggled to find reason to her sadness. She knew that they were not coming back. Lost forever in time but not memory.

How could a series of events change the course of her future so dramatically? How could another human being be so irresponsible?

Her face dampened with every fallen tear. It was now five minutes past four and she could hear the hands of the clock tick every second it had past. Time was all she could think of right now. Time gained, time shared and time lost.

A warm presence entered the room. A face pressed against hers. Arms wrapped themselves around her quivering body. A soft voice whispered calmly, "Everything is gonna be alright. I promise."

There's Something About Nature

There’s something about nature that adheres to us all. In an instance it can take-away all that we seem good in our lives and in the next it can bring vitality. Vita - from the language of Latin meaning life. What nature can bring is endless to the imagination. Food and water are considered the most important attributes of human survival. From the air we breathe to the ground we walk upon. Nature is everywhere. For me personally, I guess living and being raised in a big city makes me miss the essence of a natural environment. My few years living outside the big city were blissful and those memories are well treasured. The amount of convenience in everyday living has tired me and left me restless. My next long-distance destination will be a coastal location. 

To Be Continued...

My Love For You

''You make me happy. You make me really happy being with you. It's a feeling I haven't felt for a long time. I love spending time with you. I love the warm energy you give to me. You're such a sweet and caring person who has such a positive outlook of life. You inspire me. You can see the beauty in such small things. I never thought I would find someone who can appreciate some of the things that interest me. You interest me. You understand me. You understand life. I love your scent and the way you dress, I love your eyes and how honest they are. Your beauty is endless and your heart is so serene. You intoxicate me. You make me a better person for being with you. You have healed this heart of mine and I'm forever grateful. I love you.''

It's Simple, Right?

The simple people with their simple lives
With their simple thoughts and simple minds

Their simple jobs and their nine-to-fives
Their simple truths and their simple lies

The simple husbands and simple wives
Their simple eyes and their simple smiles

Their simple mornings, their simple nights
Their simple joys and simple fights

Missing Persons

What would you do if you lost a loved one in your life?

Well let’s define the word lost. Has the person deceased? Has your relationship broken down or have you literally lost somebody?

There are people out there who have lost loved ones through death. Some people go on with their lives and manage to process their grief over time. Others are not so unfortunate. Does the circumstance of their death matter? Of course it does. There’s a big difference from somebody who had been murdered and died suddenly in comparison to another with a terminal illness who has slowly slips away over a period of time. There are also other factors that come into play, such as how the nature of your relationship to the person. Some people can live their whole life with regrets. Some people can never deal with the loss of a person who they loved dearly.

What about losing somebody through the breakdown of a relationship? There’s always that favourite cliché people seem to throw about easily, “Life goes on”. Some can accept the fact, move on and re-establish themselves in other relationships that may be more rewarding and lasting whilst others may dwell on past memories and struggle to overcome their disengagement. Love can be blissful in the eyes of the beloved but ignorant in the eyes of the forgotten. It could be a blessing in disguise or a hindrance in troubled waters.

And finally, if you find that you have physically lost a loved one, for example in a crowded market area, in a kidnapping, or even at sea, then I would strongly urge you to contact your local authorities. If they appear to missing over a period of 24 to 48 hours then you will surely be filling out a missing persons’ report form.

The Feel Good Factor

For me there’s no greater pleasure in life than human interaction. For the first in a long time, I felt fairly comfortable sitting in a room with strangers and interacting with them on so many levels. I was at ease in asserting myself in moments of silence and awkwardness as well orchestrating topical discussion. I felt comfortable making a few jokes and was able to speak openly about some of my dilemmas. It’s very different from sitting behind a computer screen and trying to communicate with another person online because you never know if you have their full attention or if they are even interested in responding to you.

Despite the nature of this meeting, I came out feeling positive about myself and it showed throughout the evening as my confidence grew with every word I uttered. I suspect that a cup of coffee in the interval helped proceedings as well.

So that’s what it feels like, that feeling of energy and enthusiasm that comes with interacting in a social environment. My obsessive nature knows that I need, crave and long to possess its everlasting sources. I hope that my endeavours will lead me to its boundless beginnings.

Thank you for reading and I hope you find your feel-good factor should it ever become misplaced.